Apuleius and His Elizabethan Party Game

Recall in my previous paper A Thousand Kisses: Catullus, Shakespeare, and Jonson, I noted Catullus’ “Lesbia” is an alias. Apuleius gave four such examples in *Apologia 10*:

Catullus’ alias Lesbia : real name Clodia
Ticida’s Perilla : Metella
Propertius’ Cynthia : Hostia
Tibullus’ Delia : Plania

It has been noted that all these aliases are metrical matches with the real names.

Surely, we can now play the “Elizabethan Metrical Match” game:

Gullio is a metrical match with Southampton.

If you substitute Aphrodite (Greek) for Venus (Roman) to match the Greek Adonis… Aphrodite is a metrical match with Elizabeth.

Adonis … Southampton

Lesbia … Good Queen Bess

Titania … Elizabeth

Bottom … Oxford / Essex / Leicester

William Shakespeare … Edward de Vere (or Edward Oxford). Except de Vere signed himself ‘Edward Oxenford’, which isn’t. Almost!

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A Thousand Kisses: Catullus, Shakespeare, and Jonson

Catullus’ *Carmen V*:

“Let us live, my Lesbia, and let us love,
and let us judge all the rumors of the old men
to be worth just one penny!
The suns are able to fall and rise:
When that brief light has fallen for us,
we must sleep a never ending night.
Give me a thousand kisses, then another hundred,
then another thousand, then a second hundred,
then yet another thousand more, then another hundred.
Then, when we have made many thousands,
we will mix them all up so that we don’t know,
and so that no one can be jealous of us when he finds out
how many kisses we have shared.”

Ernest A. Fredricksmeyer (“Observations on Catullus 5” from *The American Journal of Philology*, 1970: 434) notes: “R. E. Grimm… proposes that a ‘business’ (‘mercantile,’ ‘commercial’) theme runs through the poem as a ‘leitmotiv’ concurrently with the love theme.”

However, Grimm’s proposition that Catullus’ kisses constitute a business transaction doesn’t work since the kisses are ‘a gift’ (i.e. ‘give me’ [l. 7]) which does not require repayment.

Compare Shakespeare’s *Venus and Adonis*:

“If thou wilt deign this favour, for thy meed
A thousand honey secrets shalt thou know” (ll. 15-16)

and

“A thousand kisses buys my heart from me;
And pay them at thy leisure, one by one.
What is ten hundred touches unto thee?
Are they not quickly told and quickly gone?
Say, for non-payment that the debt should double,
Is twenty hundred kisses such a trouble?” (ll. 517-22)

Certainly, when one ‘buys’ (l. 517) something on credit (‘the debt’ [l. 521]), such action constitutes a business relationship; however, rewarding a ‘favour’ (l. 15) does not in that a reward is a ‘reciprocity’ in kind… i.e. no payment or debt attaches to a favor.

So the reward of ‘a thousand honey secrets’ (l. 16) is not a loan and therefore does not need to be repaid. But the buying of an item (‘heart’) on credit (‘a thousand kisses’) does need to be repaid. Such business ‘kisses’ surely equate with the sealing of a business transaction.

Compare Jonson’s *The Forest VI* “To the Same [Celia]”:

“Kiss me, sweet : the wary lover
Can your favours keep, and cover,
When the common courting jay
All your bounties will betray.
Kiss again : no creature comes.
Kiss, and score up wealthy sums
On my lips thus hardly sundred,
While you breathe. First give a hundred,
Then a thousand, then another
Hundred, then unto the other
Add a thousand, and so more :” (ll. 1-11)

Jonson’s kisses are ‘favours’ (l. 2). ‘Wealthy sums’ (l. 6) seems to imply the ‘kisses’ are of a monetary nature. But, again, ‘favours’ are not a debt and no repayment attaches to such.

Also, I note Catullus’ “Lesbia” is an alias. Apuleius gave four such examples in *Apologia 10*:

Catullus’ alias Lesbia : real name Clodia
Ticida’s Perilla : Metella
Propertius’ Cynthia : Hostia
Tibullus’ Delia : Plania

It has been noted that all these aliases are metrical matches with the real names.

Possibly Jonson’s ‘Celia’ was a metrical match as well??

Interestingly, in *Return From Parnassus* (f.p. 1606), Gullio’s mistress is Lesbia. And, Gullio gets Ingenioso to impersonate Lesbia. It has been noted that Gullio = Southampton and Ingenioso = Nashe.

Also, Marston writes in his *Scourge of Villanie* (1599) re Shakespeare: “If ere you heard him courting Lesbias eyes”.

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A New Date for Marlowe’s Faustus

An example of how the Book of Common Prayer (BCP) may work in plays:

Consider Marlowe’s Faustus (1604)…

R. M. Cornelius (Christopher Marlowe’s Use of the Bible, 1984) notes the friar’s dirge “Cursed be he that stole away his Holiness’ meat from the table …” is an allusion to Deut 27:15-19: “Cursed be the man that …”.

Interestingly, the BCP’s ‘A Commination Against Sinners’ also contains a reading from Deut 27:15-26, i.e. “the general sentences of God’s cursing against impenitent sinners”. We know said Commination is heard on the First Day of Lent (Ash Wednesday).

The friars sing their dirge on St. Peter’s Day (per the 1616Q, the feast actually celebrates St. Peter’s chair) which occurs on Feb 22nd. Question: Why is the friars’ dirge so similar to the ‘Commination Against Sinners’? Does Marlowe intend his audience to recognize such?

So why does Faustus snatch the Pope’s plate of meat on St. Peter’s Day (a feast day)? Because in the year 1604, Feb 22nd (Roman feast day) is a meat-less Feb 22nd First Day of Lent in England. Surely, Marlowe’s audiences would have gotten that joke!! Funny!!

Of course, Marlowe dies in 1593 so a joke based on the year 1604 doesn’t work, now does it, nevermind the fact that Feb 22nd in England is actually March 3rd in Rome per the Gregorian calendar.

But if we stay w/in Marlowe’s lifetime, in 1589 the First Day of Lent occurs on Feb 12th in England (which would be Feb 22nd in Rome based on the Gregorian calendar). It should be noted both Feb 12th (Julian) and Feb 22nd (Gregorian) occur on a Wednesday giving us a Roman Feb 22nd (Gregorian) feast day vs. an English Feb 12th (Julian) meat-less day which justifies Faustus’ removal of the Pope’s meat. Hilarious!!

The above should be seen as an example of how the BCP calendar (as well as the calendar change) can work in plays and perhaps how it may offer a composition date. Perhaps Marlowe’s Faustus was written closer to 1589.

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Manwich Monday??

Like, hey… I bought a Manwich can last week and got it out last Friday night to cook up some yummy Manwiches… but WTF?? The label said “Manwich Monday”. BUT is was FRIDAY… Not MONDAY. So I went back to the store and went through every can on the shelf and guess what?? NO “Manwich Friday” cans. So I tooted over to three more stores and still NO “Manwich Friday” cans. WTF Hunt’s?? So now it’s Monday and guess what?? I don’t want Manwiches today.

https://www.amazon.com/review/R3BNJS4REHRFJN/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00BTWYQDU

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